"What Men Know"
The passage sounds misogynistic, how do godly men act and what does God say about being a husband and a father.
What Men Know
(1 Pet. 3:5-6)
A. I am sure that if I took an anonymous survey of everyone in the room today and asked, “What do you think about Peter’s statement that was just read?” I would get a great many negative comments.
B. I talked with a person one time that had very negative views of Christianity and when I pressed them, their statement was, “The Bible hates women and wants to enslave them to men.” That was strong statement.
C. So what do Christians do, who want to stay true to God’s teaching, yet feel that culturally, that teaching is doesn’t work anymore? That is a great question and very understandable. The answer I give is to make sure that the passage in question is accurate to the total teachings of God and not pulled out of context. To be sure, I pulled the verses that were just read to you out of context to get a gut reaction. So let’s take this Father’s Day to examine what godly men know about marriage and fatherhood.
I. Godly Men Know Who They Are as a husband
A. Godly fathers are first godly husbands. In light of the passage that was read to us, some men see themselves are greater than their wife. Godly men don’t have to prove they are superior to anyone. They are comfortable knowing they belong to God, saved by the blood of Jesus, and have been given blessings from the Creator of the universe and one of those blessings is their wife. God gave Eve to Adam as a gift; a godly man appreciates the gift of his wife.
B. Listen to the verse that followed our text (1 Pet 3:7). God makes it clear that a godly husband seeks to live with his wife in an understanding manner. Knowing my wife is a lifelong journey – a good journey.
C. But to know my wife as God is commanding me is to know that she deserves my gentleness and respect. She is delicate, like a piece of fine china.
D. To know who I am as a husband and to treat my wife as God teaches, gives me a spiritual benefit that we often don’t discuss as men – our prayer life. There have been times in my life when my prayers didn’t seem to accomplish anything. I thought I was seeking God and His will, but I still struggled with my own issues. Why wasn’t God helping me? I prayed, but there seemed to be nothing. Then a friend asked me, “How your marriage? How are you as a husband?” Well, that’s none of his business – yet it was. I would love for you to think I am the perfect husband and have treated Kerri with understanding and respect, but I know I have fallen short. The friend point to the end of verse 7 (1 Pet 3:7).
E. Listen to me married men. You want a good prayer life? You want God to hear you calling out to him? Then let’s learn to treat our wives with gentleness, respect, understanding and heirs with us in the grace we call the Christian life. Then, when our marriage is truly one in God, watch what God will do with your prayer life.
II. God Men Know Their Role As A Dad
A. If what men know is that to be a good dad it starts by being a good husband, what then are the things good father know about being a dad? Let’s start with Ps. 127.
B. In that psalm it said that children “were a heritage” and “a reward” from the Lord. Just as God presented Eve as a gift to make Adam more complete, children are a gift from God. Children are not my possession for me to boss around, but are a gift for me to treasure. They are a heritage from God and therefore, belong to God. I am simply God’s steward of those kids for the first 18 or so years. During those years my job is to get them ready to spend the rest of their life with their real father – God.
C. I grew up knowing I was loved, but I also grew up thinking that sometimes I was a remote control for the TV before there were remote controls. I felt like my parents pushed me around, bossed me, told me to chop wood, clean my room, help in garden, take care of the yard all sorts of stuff for which I didn’t get paid. But there was more.
D. My parents talked about God with us kids. They prayed with us, and not just at dinner time. They wanted us to become God’s workmanship, God’s tools to bless others and be blessed by God and others. I learned that life wasn’t fair and my parents weren’t always right. But also learned that when God builds the house, it’s a good house.
E. I don’t think I can do a Father’s Day lesson and not at least include Eph. 6:4. (READ IT). I tried to raise my kids wanting what was best for them. I pushed them, and at times pushed them hard. I tried to live this verse. Making them angry wasn’t going to solve any problem we faced as parent/child or any problem they faced alone. I want to offer them good discipline and instruction. Discipline is more than negative consequences being laid out upon a child. Discipline is about getting them to move forward in the right direction. Sometimes, my kids needed a course correction – they were veering too far off that straight and narrow. Discipline was needed, but so was instruction.
A. Dads, pass the baton of faith on to your kids. John Smith writes about a time when as a child he was very sick. The family didn’t have the money for a doctor and did the best they could. As he got worse his parents were scared and he could sense that even as a child. One night, John woke from his feverish sleep. The light coming into his room showed someone sitting by his bed holding his hand. At first he thought it was his mom, but he knew that large strong hand belonged to his dad. His dad was there in his work clothes praying over his son. As John remembered that night he wrote reflectively saying “You can’t just show up for the big moments, because, you see, you never really know when they will come; you have to show up every day.”
B. I guess that defines what godly men know – to show up every day as a godly husband and a godly father. To let God build the house to enjoy the gifts God has given us. Being a dad is a great joy. I am blessed husband and father. I hope you are also.